


What Do I Get Out Of This?

by HMSquared



Series: Ethan "Not My Fault" Nestor [1]
Category: Unus Annus - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Girlfriends/No Wives, Challenges, Chatlogs, First Kiss, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Peer Pressure, Propositions, Triggers, YouTube, not graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:08:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21824920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HMSquared/pseuds/HMSquared
Summary: Mark knows what Ethan (and the Internet) wants. But does he want it is the question.
Relationships: Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor
Series: Ethan "Not My Fault" Nestor [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1928377
Comments: 12
Kudos: 51





	What Do I Get Out Of This?

**Author's Note:**

> Okay...so, this is my first story involving rape, and it involves two real people. Fun!
> 
> In all seriousness, please don't take this as some weird thing against Mark and Ethan. I don't believe either one of them are capable of sexual assault or anything similar. This is just a story.
> 
> Despite how terrible I felt planning this, writing it was actually quite interesting. I tried to make it angsty without being overly so or insensitive. 
> 
> Finally, if you don't like rape or suicide, please think carefully about reading. Neither of the events are graphic in nature, but they are both serious topics that I attempted to portray as such.

Mark and Ethan stared at the spinner in front of them. They had gone through all of the other options, and only one remained: drinking their own pee.

“It’s on the spinner,” Ethan said, fingers twitching against the counter. “The viewers saw it, we’ve got to do it.” Mark recoiled, thinking hard about his life.

“Look,” he replied, “I’ve said it before that I’ll do anything for YouTube. Get tazed, pepper-sprayed in the eyes, whatever. But this is where I draw the line. I’m not drinking my own piss.” Ethan nodded, only half-listening. The option still hung in the air.

They had two options: dump the video entirely and waste a day’s worth of filming, or go through with it. But there was a third one. One Mark did not like.

Ethan’s behavior had changed since the channel started. He had become flirtier, more cheeky if you will. The viewers had seen it, commented on it. And Mark had noticed as well.

He hadn’t had the dreams since they’d done Mario Kart together a few years back. But they’d happened, and maybe that meant something.

There was no one else around: just them and the camera. Before Mark could stop himself, he leaned into Ethan’s shoulder and whispered,

“If you drink your own pee, I’ll take you up on your offer.” They both knew the one: after filming and uploading their first video together, Ethan had joked,  _ We’re practically engaged. What’s next, consummating our marriage?  _ The question had hung between them ever since.

“Really?” The look on Ethan’s face was one of sheer disbelief. Mark nodded, a tiny smile forming.

“Sure, why not?” And for a while, everything was fine.

They drank their own pee. The mixed, doubly-filtered version wasn’t terrible. Then Mark made the mistake of drinking his own urine with only the Lifestraw. His tongue instantly rejected it, and he found himself taking down a large glass of water. Ethan laughed from the corner, legitimately stunned by how everything was going.

They finished the video and started to clean up. The urine went down the drain, the rest of the drink went back in the fridge, and Mark went to put the IPad away.

“Hey, Mark.” Hearing his footsteps, the older YouTuber turned around. Ethan placed one hand under his chin, leaned forward, and kissed his friend on the lips. It was brief, it was sudden, and in all honesty, Mark enjoyed it. His eyes sparkled when Ethan pulled away and chuckled, “See you tonight, buddy.” And just like that, he was gone.

It was only until after dinner that Mark began to feel sick. Every time he closed his eyes, Ethan’s words filled his head. The original proposal from a month ago, the shocked reply and the snarky comment from today.

His eyes flashed to a picture from Pax a few months ago. There they all were: Mark, Tyler, Ethan, Bob, Jack, and Wade. Smiles dotted their faces, Ethan’s right arm around Mark’s shoulder. Reaching over, the YouTuber studied it.

He didn’t love him. Not romantically, anyway. Mark had jokingly said “I love you” a few times, but always in a platonic form. 

_ Platonic _ . Such a confusing, excruciating word. But it described Mark’s relationship with Ethan perfectly. He didn’t want to engage in foreplay with his friend. He didn’t want to wake up beside him the next morning.

But he also didn’t want to break his friend’s heart. And that meant he had to keep his promise.

_ Hello. _

**_Hi… I’ve, um, never been on one of these before, so you’ll have to forgive me._ **

_ That’s okay. What’s your name? _

**_Mark._ **

_ Hello, Mark. My name’s Danielle. Now, what do you want to talk about? _

**_Oh, God… Where do I start?_ **

_ Whatever makes you feel most comfortable. _

**_Okay. So...I’ve got this friend. We’ll call him B. Anyway, he’s got this huge crush on me, and...I don’t. I love him, but not in a romantic way._ **

**_We’re always doing stupid dares with one other, and we kind of said we’d drink each other’s filtered urine. And neither of us wanted to do it. Now, he’s propositioned me a couple of times before, you know? Never seriously, but...I don’t know. So I just kind of said, basically, “Hey, if we do this together, I’ll have sex with you.”_ **

_ What was his response? _

**_He was shocked, then said yes. We finished the dare, were cleaning up, and he kissed me. And...I don’t know, is it wrong to say I kind of liked it?_ **

_ No, of course not, Mark. Anything you thought beforehand has no connotation on your situation. _

**_Okay… So, flash-forwarding a little bit, I realized I didn’t want to do it with him. Because he’s my friend, and I didn’t want to give him the wrong idea. But, I also wanted to keep my promise._ **

_ You didn’t owe him anything. It’s always okay to say no. _

**_I didn’t say it. I thought it. When he came over, when we… I was screaming “No, no, no!” in my head. God…_ **

_ Do you want to call the police? _

**_I honestly don’t know. I’m sorry._ **

_ Don’t be sorry. Is there anything I can do to help? _

**_No… I just, needed a place to vent, you know? I...I just want to leave._ **

_ I understand. If you ever want to press charges or just need to talk, we’re all here for you. _

**_Okay. Thank you._ **

Three weeks later, Mark ended it. Three weeks later, he drank a glass of water, broke said glass, then used one of the shards to slit his wrists. He never told anyone else...he never told Ethan how he really felt. And the urine video never saw the light of day.


End file.
